Doctors don't always have brains

Due to certain really anal circumstances, and I’m assuming people as well, MCs from private clinics aren’t quite accepted from me anymore – actually the same goes for any other person who’s in the same boat as I am. So that meant that I had to go to TTSH, waste close to half my day on endless waiting just for a slip of paper and medication.

So what’s wrong with me this time is that I’m coughing AGAIN. But this morning I noticed that my phlegm was oddly coloured and I thought it was due to the chocolate milk that I drank but then I realised that it was actually blood in my phlegm. All I could think was “don’t let it be TB!” So since it seemed serious, it made perfect sense to get myself checked and get well as soon as I possibly can.

I go to the hospital and after all the waiting and drawing my blood, they tell me that it’s just an infection and I’ll get a free gift called Amoxicillin. They also gave me MC and gave me a choice of 1 or 2 days. I chose 2 days. I got my MC at 6PM. I’m going back on Tuesday. Why would any doctor give you an MC that covers you on a day you don’t work and from 6PM? Imagine what would have happened if I chose 1 day... Brainless...

It's been great

I look at this picture and it just reminds me of everything we went through, how much of a wreck I was and how much these 2 great friends were always there to keep me going. I’m blessed that they’re in my life, happy that we got to know each other, and so glad that we’re friends.

If I should be sad about anything regarding the past 3 months, it would be that we’re no longer together but I’ve learnt not to be sad that it’s over, but to be happy that it happened. I never knew that I could meet such great people in hell.

Aside from tht, I’m pretty happy with how I’ve spent the last 12 days. I’ve met up with close friends, best friends, an old friend and gotten back in touch with...life. The last 12 days, I think, were pretty essential to me and though I’ve overslept, lazed around the house, wasted time in town, I’m happy I did all that because I’ve forgotten what that felt like. But now that the 12 days are over, I'm happy that it happened, not sad that it's over.

Bangko, Day 4 – last day

I am kindda sad to leave this country where I’ve learnt what it feels like to live with hardly any worries at all, maybe except when it comes to sitting on a tuktuk. The difference between the rides here and in Phuket are that in Phuket, you can sleep on a tuktuk but in Bangkok, you cling on to whatever you can for dear life. But other than that, I think I’ve lived like a king for the past 3 days and although I didn’t spend as much or buy as much as I desired to, I’m happy and after feeling all dark and gloomy in the past month, happiness is something that has become of utmost importance in my life.

I don’t know but it seems like Thailand is the place for me to unwind, relax and recharge whenever I’m not in best shape. The trip to Phuket came during a crazy period in my life and I think it did a lot of good for me then and Bangkok’s done the same thing for me this time. I don’t know what exactly it is but maybe I’ve found a solution.

I know for sure that I’ll be coming back again someday, I just don’t know when. But when that time comes, hopefully I’ll be able to afford a condo here. And trust me, it’s so cheap even I believe I can buy one in the near future.

Bagkok, Day 3 – Siam paragon & Central World

Headed to the shopping district today to search for G-Star Raw because I was eyeing a jacket from it and it was sold out at the stores here. I knew we had to head to Chitlom, a train station which was near a shopping centre where G-Star Raw was, but the help we got told the taxi driver to drive us to Silom, a totally different place. We ended up stopping at Siam Paragon which wasn’t too bad since it was on the same street as my main objective.

So Siam Paragon is impressive; it really reminds me of Vivo with all the empty space it has but at the same time it has the high end boutiques that ooze prestige. We didn’t spend much time there since there wasn’t anything to do but if we did really want to walk around and cover the whole place, we probably could have spent a whole day there.

So after walking around for an hour we decided to head to Central World. The first thing I noticed when I got there was how empty it was and how each of the shops that greeted me seemed to have displays at their windows that, just by looking, you know they hide in a secret safe in the shop at the end of the day. It’s probably the first time I called a place atas.

But that turned out to be just a greeting, something like how the bougainvilleas welcome you as you leave the airport by road; it’s short-lived and the beauty of it fades off quickly. I found G-Star Raw but sadly, they only had the jacket I was eyeing in print. My next option is to get it online and thank God I found a seller in Spain who’s willing to part with an M-sized one.

Bangkok, Day 2 - Chatuchak & Suan Lum

Imagine Bugis Village being spread out across a land space of about 35 acres and trying to cover all the stalls within a day. That was pretty much our schedule for today at Chatuchak Weekend Market and it was absolutely tiring but really fun.

My favourite part of the whole market would probably be the section with all the animals. I saw a Husky and it was SO CUTE but just too bad I can’t buy it and bring it back home and still keep it as my puppy. It was only about a foot long though it was the biggest pup I saw at the market. The rabbits and birds didn’t interest me so I totally didn’t give a shit about them.

So besides pets, the market sells used clothes (wtf, i know), clothes. Jewellery, wooden carvings, watches, leather cuffs, belts, sunglasses, bags, vases, pots, plates, utensils and basically anything that they can sell at the market. There are a lot of repeat stuff though so it’s not wise to buy the first thing you see.

Had no plans for the night but I didn’t want to waste it away so when my sister invited me to join her and her friend at a night market, I agreed despite my fatigue and worn out legs. The highlight of that market would be the 2 ladyboys I saw but I’m not trying to say that Suan Lum Night Bazaar is boring; half the shops were closed by the time we got there but the 2 über hot ladyboys were the shit man!

Bangkok, Day 1 - just arrived!

So day 1 in Bangkok’s been good so far but our day started kindda late so we didn’t get to do much. I’ve already spent 190 baht (that’s I think about $9.50) on a shirt and I haven’t bought anything for anybody yet. But I walked pass a shop that sold kinky school girl and nurse costumes and I wanted to get it but I had no idea who to get it for.

We’re supposed to go to some super bigass market tomorrow and we’ll be walking only a part of it for the whole day (it’s so big we can’t finish walking the whole place in a day). Hopefully I’ll be lucky enough to find someone who can get me some hair in the market.

I’m freaking tired and I need my rest now. Will write more about Bangkok and ladyboy sightings tomorrow!

Out of hell and back on Earth

MANY days of MC
6 days straight of not showering, washing my face, brushing my teeth and taking a crap
5 suicidal thoughts
4 weeks of depression
3 months in hell
2 great friends made
1 moron on my hate list
0 cigarettes smoked

As you might have guessed, I managed to survive hell and get out of it. I really don’t know how I did it but I know for sure that I couldn’t have done it without the many words of encouragement from my family and friends.

I have to say that my stay in hell has been crazy. I’ve never felt so desperate, stressed, suicidal, sick, emotionally unstable, depressed, and home sick in my life and all of that at the same time. But all of these negative feelings have made me appreciate the many things that I used to take for granted and that’s one thing that I’m very happy with, learning to appreciate every little thing in life.

But one thing that I’ve learnt to treasure much more now is freedom. It might not occur to you but your freedom comes at the price of another person’s freedom. You might not understand it but once you’re in my shoes I’m sure you will get it.

Despite learning to appreciate many things in life much more and growing up, I don’t like the person that I’ve turned into. I don’t recognise myself anymore and I hope that being out of hell will allow me to change back into the person I used to be.

I have to thank Justin and Nicholas for always being there for me. I really don’t know how I’d have gotten through hell without them. It’s just too bad we never got to take a picture together.